WE CAN HELP WITH DISPUTE RESOLUTION
Trinidad Mediation and Conciliation, LLC
Trinidad Mediation and Conciliation, LLC offers traditional legal mediation as well as Christian Conciliation services and enthusiastically welcomes discussions on Christian mediation with conciliators, mediators, arbitrators, attorneys, and anyone else interested in dispute resolution.
This portion of our site is intended to provide an introduction and procedural framework for Biblical mediation and arbitration, otherwise known as Christian conciliation. The concepts and rules set forth on these pages may be used by anyone who is assisting others in resolving a particular conflict.
MISSION STATEMENT
Bringing Peace
Our purpose is to serve Jesus Christ by helping all people resolve their disputes and make peace with one another.
This mission will be accomplished by:
- Providing mediation, arbitration, and conciliation services
- Educating the Christian community on its scriptural call to peacemaking.
PURPOSE
The purpose of Christian Conciliation is to glorify God by helping people resolve disputes in a conciliatory rather than an adversarial manner. In addition to facilitating the resolution of substantive issues, Christian Conciliation seeks to reconcile those who have been alienated by conflict and help them learn how to change their attitude and behavior to avoid similar conflicts in the future. Our goals are to extend the influence of Biblical mediation within the Church and Christian Organizations and to exemplify the highest caliber of services associated with Biblical Conciliation.
Bringing Peace, Creating Peacemakers
VISION
Our purpose is to serve Jesus Christ by helping all people resolve their disputes and make peace with one another. This is achieved through a process based on Matthew 18:15-20 and I Corinthians 6:1-8, which commands Christians to seek resolution for conflicts outside of court, in a conciliatory rather than adversarial manner.
SERVICES
Trinidad Mediation and Conciliation, LLC offers a wide range of services to both church and secular communities. We provide biblically based mediation and arbitration services to the community, handling disputes that range from simple conflicts between neighbors over property boundaries to complex litigation involving multiple churches. Additionally, Trinidad offers a program specifically designed for churches, assisting them in establishing mediation and reconciliation programs tailored to their unique needs and providing valuable resources for their congregations.
Christian conciliation is a process designed to reconcile individuals and resolve disputes in a manner consistent with biblical principles, without resorting to court litigation. This process promotes conciliation and cooperation rather than adversarial approaches, emphasizing open communication and reasonable collaboration.
Christian conciliation typically involves three steps. Initially, one or both parties may seek individual counseling to explore ways to personally and privately resolve the dispute based on biblical teachings.
If private efforts prove unsuccessful, the parties may opt for mediation, wherein one or more mediators facilitate a constructive dialogue to encourage voluntary settlement of their differences.
In the event that mediation does not lead to a resolution, the parties may proceed to arbitration. During arbitration, one or more arbitrators act as judges by hearing the case and issuing a legally binding decision.
The term “conciliator” refers to an individual serving as a counselor, mediator, or arbitrator within this context.
Christian conciliation has proven effective in settling a diverse range of disputes, spanning contract, employment, family, personal injury, church, denominational, real estate, neighborhood, landlord/tenant, creditor/debtor, and professional conflicts. The monetary claims involved in these cases have varied from minimal amounts to several million dollars. Here are examples of cases that have been successfully resolved through Christian conciliation:
- Doctrinal and personality conflicts causing division within a church.
- Allegations of defective work made by a homeowner against a builder.
- Improper termination claim by an employee against their employer.
- Disagreements between business owners regarding the division of assets.
- Fraud allegations made by a partner in an oil and gas development venture.
- Allegations of surgical malpractice brought by a patient against a doctor.
- Desire to reverse an adoption expressed by a birth mother.
- Breach of contract claim by an author against a publisher.
- Dispute among family members over the estate of a deceased parent.
- Struggles faced by a couple contemplating divorce.
- Nuisance caused by a neighbor’s incessantly barking dog.
- Disagreement between two ranchers concerning road right-of-way.
- Patent infringement claim made by a company against a competitor’s product.
- Persistent disagreements over child support and visitation between divorced parents.
Christian conciliation has proven to be a valuable approach in navigating these and other challenging conflicts, offering a biblically grounded framework for resolution.
Christian conciliation is often significantly more cost-effective compared to litigation. Trinidad Mediation and Conciliation, LLC typically charges an hourly fee ranging from $100 to $200 per party, along with an administrative deposit of $200 per party. In cases where financial hardship is present, Trinidad offers the opportunity for a reduced rate upon submission of proof of need. A separate document will be provided, detailing the fee structure and including an application for a hardship discount. This document will offer a comprehensive explanation of the fees involved.
Certainly. If both parties agree, they can choose to suspend any ongoing legal proceedings while they attempt to resolve their differences through conciliation. In the event that conciliation is successful and an agreement is reached, the parties can file a stipulation with the court to formally close the case. This allows them to avoid further legal proceedings and find resolution through the conciliation process.
Absolutely, if the parties wish to do so. Agreements that are reached through private negotiations or mediation can be documented in legal contracts or stipulations. These documents provide a formal record of the agreed-upon terms and can be used for enforcement purposes. In the case of arbitration, the decisions rendered are legally binding and can be enforced as judgments by civil courts. This ensures that the resolution reached through the conciliation process holds legal weight and can be implemented accordingly.
Yes, before engaging in mediation or arbitration, Trinidad Mediation and Conciliation, LLC can offer individual counseling to the parties involved. Additionally, written materials can be provided to assist them in exploring potential avenues for resolving the dispute privately. It is advisable for the parties to exhaust private efforts before involving additional individuals in the process, as suggested in Matthew 18:15-16. This approach ensures that all possible means of resolution are explored before proceeding with formal conciliation procedures.
If attempts at a private resolution have been unsuccessful, and if the other party agrees to pursue Christian Conciliation, you have the following options:
Mediation: Mediation is a voluntary and informal process facilitated by Trinidad Mediation and Conciliation, LLC. The focus is on fostering communication and negotiation between the parties, with an emphasis on reconciliation in addition to settling substantive differences. If mediation is unsuccessful, the parties can choose to discontinue the process, or they may agree to submit unresolved issues to arbitration.
Arbitration: Arbitration primarily addresses the resolution of substantive issues. In this process, arbitrators act as factfinders and judges, and their decisions carry legal binding. It is generally advisable to attempt mediation before proceeding to arbitration, unless there are no personal or relational issues to be resolved, and reconciliation is not a priority between the parties.
If the parties have committed only to mediation, anyone may withdraw at any time.
Mediation is a cooperative process where the parties in a dispute work together with the assistance of a mediator to reach a mutually agreeable solution. It promotes communication, cooperation, and the restoration of relationships by facilitating peaceful settlements. In mediation, there are no legal determinations of fact, guilt, liability, or fault. The process helps alleviate feelings of anger, pain, and revenge. The parties have control over the decisions that impact their lives, as they explore options and choose a solution that meets their basic needs and aligns with their sense of fairness.
Confidentiality is a crucial aspect of mediation. The process protects the parties’ interests and legal rights by ensuring that all mediation sessions remain confidential. This confidentiality encourages the free exchange of information and promotes an environment of trust.
Mediation is empowering because it allows individuals and organizations to maintain control over the decisions that shape their future. It is a voluntary process where participants actively engage in creating solutions that meet their mutual needs and interests. Moreover, through mediation, participants gain valuable experience with conflict resolution methods that can be applied in future disputes.
Overall, mediation offers a cooperative, confidential, and empowering approach to resolving conflicts, fostering effective communication, and enabling mutually beneficial outcomes.
During mediation, the parties maintain control over the final outcome, and the role of the mediators is that of facilitators. They assist in guiding the communication and negotiation process but do not impose any decisions on the parties. On the other hand, in arbitration, the parties are bound to abide by the arbitrators’ decision, as it carries legal binding.
Additionally, arbitration primarily focuses on resolving substantive issues. It involves establishing facts, determining rights and responsibilities, and rendering a legally binding decision. In contrast, mediation addresses both substantive issues and personal and relational matters. It aims to help the parties find common ground and reach a mutually agreeable solution, taking into consideration their individual needs and the restoration of relationships.
In essence, arbitration determines the legal obligations of the parties based on the law, while mediation guides them in finding a solution through mutual agreement and understanding.
Mediation does not always result in a compromise. While some disputes may be appropriately resolved through compromise, conciliators, particularly Christian conciliators, do not simply encourage parties to “split the difference” for the sake of settling the matter. Christian conciliators prioritize the pursuit of justice and take the responsibilities of the parties seriously. They aim to assist individuals in fulfilling their obligations, even when it may be challenging or come at a cost. The solutions reached through conciliation are typically supported by both parties as being just and reasonable, reflecting the commitment to uphold biblical principles of justice and righteousness.
Indeed, conciliators who are guided by Scripture and the Holy Spirit should uphold the command to be impartial. Leviticus 19:15 instructs against perverting justice and showing partiality to either the poor or the great, emphasizing the importance of fair judgment.
Christian conciliators, seeking God’s guidance in obeying this command, are less likely to exhibit favoritism compared to secular arbitrators, judges, or jurors in civil court. They strive to approach disputes with a commitment to impartiality, treating each party fairly and without bias. The influence of biblical principles and the guidance of the Holy Spirit provide a framework for maintaining a sense of equity and ensuring that justice is pursued in a balanced and unbiased manner.
Christian conciliation indeed distinguishes itself by being more values-oriented compared to other forms of mediation. While all mediators aim to facilitate a voluntary settlement between the parties, many may be hesitant to delve into evaluating attitudes and behaviors from a moral perspective.
In contrast, Christian conciliators purposefully explore the underlying reasons behind a dispute, including the matters of the heart. They believe that God has established timeless moral principles that are recorded in Scripture and written in our hearts. Christian conciliators will draw the attention of the parties to attitudes, motives, or actions that may be inconsistent with those standards. They encourage individuals who identify as followers of Christ to abide by His teachings and strive to conduct themselves in a manner that honors Him.
By emphasizing moral principles and the commands of Christ, Christian conciliators offer a framework for addressing conflicts in a way that aligns with biblical values and promotes reconciliation rooted in a deeper understanding of attitudes and behaviors.
Christopher Johnson is a dedicated professional trained to help people resolve disputes and reconcile relationships. he has been practicing law over 30 years and has a varied professional background, including business, education, law, and even pastoral counseling. He has completed mediation training that fulfills the requirements of Florida and Alabama mediation certification, with the additional biblical counseling program required for certified Christian Conciliators.
When a dispute cannot be resolved privately, the option of working with strangers may become inevitable. In such cases, the key question becomes which strangers one will collaborate with to seek resolution. If the dispute reaches the court system, individuals will have limited control over the selection of a judge and jury, and their knowledge of the fundamental values of those involved may be minimal.
In contrast, choosing Christian conciliation provides the parties with a voice in the selection of conciliators who align with their values, and they can be assured that the conciliators are committed to Biblical principles. This ensures that the process of resolving the dispute is guided by shared faith-based values and a commitment to upholding Biblical principles. Opting for Christian conciliation allows the parties to have greater influence and involvement in the selection of those involved in facilitating the resolution, leading to a process that is more aligned with their beliefs and values.
No. Many people who do not profess to be Christians have submitted disputes to Christian Conciliation and have been pleased with the results
Christian conciliation promotes traditional Judeo-Christian values and principles that are fundamental to our common law and essential for fostering healthy relationships and the proper functioning of society. When a case is submitted to Christian Conciliation, the parties will be encouraged to embrace the following principles:
- Be honest: Speak truthfully to one another, putting aside falsehood (Ephesians 4:25).
- Do what is just and merciful: Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God (Micah 6:8).
- Accept responsibility for one’s actions and admit wrongdoing: Remove the plank from your own eye before addressing the speck in your brother’s eye (Matthew 7:5).
- Keep your word: Let your “yes” be “yes” and your “no” be “no” (Matthew 5:37).
- Be concerned about the interests of others: Look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:4).
- Listen carefully to others: Folly and shame result from answering before listening (Proverbs 18:13).
- Overlook minor offenses: Wisdom brings patience, and it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:11).
- Confront others constructively: Let your words be helpful for building others up according to their needs (Ephesians 4:29).
- Be open to forgiveness and reconciliation: Be kind, compassionate, and forgiving, as God forgave you in Christ (Ephesians 4:32).
- Change harmful attitudes and behavior: Confess and renounce sins to find mercy (Proverbs 28:13).
- Make restitution for damage caused: Take responsibility for losses incurred due to negligence or actions (Exodus 21:33-34).
In summary, Christian Conciliation follows the golden rule given by Jesus: “Do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12). This principle encompasses the essence of the Law and the Prophets, guiding interactions and relationships between all individuals.
According to Christian teachings, believers are generally discouraged from suing other Christians, particularly until they have exhausted the process outlined by Jesus in Matthew 18:15-20 and 1 Corinthians 6:1-8. God instructs Christians to resolve their disputes within the church community, seeking assistance from fellow believers if necessary. The apostle Paul addressed the issue of Christians suing one another in his letter to the Corinthians, expressing his concern over the matter and urging them to resolve conflicts within the church rather than turning to secular courts.
Paul emphasized that believers should have the wisdom and capability to handle disputes among themselves, rather than involving unbelievers in legal proceedings. He highlighted the importance of Christians demonstrating unity and resolving conflicts in a manner consistent with their faith. Lawsuits among believers were seen as a sign of defeat and a failure to uphold the principles of forgiveness, reconciliation, and love for one another.
Unfortunately, many Christians may be unaware of this teaching or may not believe it applies in the present day. However, the passage in Corinthians serves as a reminder of the Christian perspective on litigation and the importance of seeking peaceful resolutions through mediation and compromise.
Prominent figures, such as the late Associate U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and former President Abraham Lincoln, have also echoed the sentiment of encouraging peaceful resolution and discouraging unnecessary litigation. They emphasized the value of compromise and the potential negative consequences of engaging in legal battles.
Ultimately, the teachings of Scripture and the advice of wise individuals emphasize the importance of seeking peaceful resolution, compromising when possible, and avoiding unnecessary lawsuits among believers.
There are several compelling reasons for Christians to choose conciliation over a purely legal approach when resolving disputes:
Preservation of relationships: Legal proceedings can often intensify animosity and permanently damage relationships. In contrast, Christian conciliation emphasizes forgiveness and reconciliation, promoting the preservation and restoration of relationships.
Addressing underlying causes of conflict: Courts typically focus on the legal aspects of a dispute and may overlook the deeper causes of conflict, such as pride, selfishness, fear, vengeance, greed, bitterness, or unforgiveness. Christian conciliation seeks to identify and address these root issues, enabling individuals to make meaningful changes in their lives, leading to less conflict and healthier relationships in the future (Matthew 7:3-5).
Reflecting Christian values: Resolving disputes in a conciliatory manner allows Christians to demonstrate their commitment to Jesus’ teachings and exhibit love, unity, and peace. By acting in accordance with biblical principles, Christians can uphold the integrity of their faith and present a positive witness to others (John 13:34; 14:15; 17:20-23; Ephesians 4:1-3).
Fulfilling Jesus’ command for reconciliation: Jesus prioritized reconciliation and urged His followers to seek reconciliation with those they have offended, even before engaging in public worship. This command underscores the importance of resolving personal conflicts outside of the courtroom and demonstrates a commitment to peace and unity (Matthew 5:23-25).
In summary, Christians are encouraged to choose conciliation as a means of resolving disputes to preserve relationships, address underlying causes of conflict, reflect Christian values, and fulfill Jesus’ command for reconciliation. By following a conciliatory approach, Christians can strive to resolve conflicts in a manner that aligns with their faith and upholds the teachings of Jesus.
Indeed, God has granted civil courts the jurisdiction to enforce laws and maintain order within society (Romans 13:1-7). Consequently, legal proceedings are appropriate for addressing criminal violations, constitutional issues, and various other disputes that fall within the scope of the law. However, when personal differences arise between two Christians, it is generally advisable to seek private resolution before turning to the courts for redress.
Trinidad Mediation and Conciliation, LLC is ready to provide information and guidance to individuals who are contemplating whether a specific dispute should be pursued in court. This assistance can aid individuals in making an informed decision and considering alternative approaches to resolving their conflicts before resorting to litigation. By encouraging private resolution and exploring conciliation options, Trinidad aims to facilitate peaceful and biblical means of dispute resolution.
Christian conciliation offers several advantages and benefits when compared to litigation:
Promotion of traditional values: Christian conciliation upholds traditional values rooted in biblical principles, fostering an environment that aligns with Christian beliefs and values.
Relationship preservation: Christian conciliation emphasizes reconciliation and forgiveness, aiming to preserve relationships rather than intensifying conflicts or permanently damaging connections between parties.
Cost-effectiveness: Christian conciliation is generally less expensive than going to court, reducing the financial burden associated with lengthy legal proceedings.
Flexibility and creativity: Unlike litigation, Christian conciliation is less constrained by rigid procedures, allowing for more flexible and creative remedies. This flexibility enables conciliators to tailor solutions to the specific needs and circumstances of the parties involved.
Personalized review of facts and issues: Christian conciliators often have more flexibility than civil judges to personally inspect relevant properties or items involved in the dispute. This personal review provides a more in-depth and personalized understanding of the facts and issues, enhancing the resolution process.
Speed and convenience: Christian conciliation offers faster results as it is not bound by the same procedural rules and timelines as civil courts. The scheduling of sessions can be tailored to the availability and convenience of the parties involved.
Confidentiality: Christian conciliation maintains strict confidentiality, ensuring that all discussions and information shared during the process remain private. This confidentiality fosters an environment where parties can openly and honestly discuss matters without fear of their words being used against them in a court of law.
Scriptural foundation: Christian conciliation is grounded in biblical teachings, such as Matthew 18:15-20 and 1 Corinthians 6:1-8, providing a framework that aligns with Christian principles and values. It is especially beneficial for individuals seeking to do what is right and open to learning and growing from their mistakes.
Overall, Christian conciliation offers a comprehensive approach to dispute resolution that encompasses scriptural principles, promotes positive relationships, provides flexibility, and fosters personal growth and improvement.
- Authority – Christian conciliators do not have the same authority as civil judges.
- Non-compelling: Cannot make anyone participate or cooperate once the process begins. (However, once there is an agreement to use conciliation, a civil judge has the authority to compel a reluctant party to proceed with the process.)
- Non-Formulated: It can be less predictable than litigation because each case has different parties and conciliators. The process is less constrained by procedures, statutes, and case precedents.
- The results achieved through conciliation may differ substantially from the outcome of litigation or secular mediation or arbitration. (For example, the Biblical command to keep one’s word may lead a person to honor a contract that might otherwise be rescinded on technical legal grounds.)
- Limited grounds for appealing arbitrated decisions. Therefore, parties will have little opportunity to have a decision reviewed by a higher authority. (However, this law means they will usually be spared from the expenses and delays inherent in the appeal process.)
While Christian conciliation may still be unfamiliar to some attorneys, those who have had experience with it often have a positive impression. Attorneys who have worked with Christian conciliation may recognize its unique benefits and value, leading them to refer clients to this approach for resolving disputes. As more attorneys become familiar with Christian conciliation and witness its effectiveness, the practice may gain further recognition and acceptance within the legal community. The favorable impressions and referrals from attorneys who have experienced Christian conciliation can contribute to its growing acceptance as an effective alternative dispute resolution method.
Trinidad Mediation and Conciliation, LLC recognizes the importance of independent legal counsel in the conciliation process. While Christian conciliators do not provide legal advice or establish an attorney-client relationship, Trinidad encourages parties to consult with their own legal counsel, especially when significant legal rights are involved or when arbitration is being considered, which may be influenced by state or federal statutes.
Trinidad is accustomed to working alongside attorneys whom the parties have retained to provide guidance and representation during the conciliation process. If the parties have not yet retained an attorney, they can reach out to Trinidad for guidance on potential ways to resolve the dispute without incurring unnecessary legal expenses.
The involvement of independent legal counsel ensures that the parties receive professional advice tailored to their specific legal circumstances and helps safeguard their legal rights throughout the conciliation process. Trinidad recognizes the complementary role that legal counsel plays in achieving a fair and just resolution for all parties involved.
Since Christian Conciliation promotes values and principles that are common to all Christian churches, it has gained the support of churches within every major Christian community. Christian Conciliation regularly works within evangelical, mainline Protestant, charismatic, Roman Catholic, fundamentalist, and reformed churches.
Absolutely. According to the teachings of Jesus, the primary responsibility for resolving conflict and promoting reconciliation among Christians rests with the church community. In Matthew 18:15-20, Jesus outlines a process that involves private discussions, mediation, and the authority of the church to make binding decisions in matters of dispute.
Trinidad Mediation and Conciliation, LLC encourages individuals involved in conflicts to first seek counsel and assistance from their church leaders. The involvement of church leaders can provide valuable guidance and support in navigating the conciliation process. If Christian parties involved in a conflict desire to pursue Christian conciliation, Trinidad is ready to work collaboratively with their churches throughout the conciliation process.
Therefore, if individuals find themselves in a conflict and are affiliated with a church, it is advisable to encourage their pastor(s) or church leaders to review the information provided by Trinidad and initiate a conversation with Trinidad to explore how they can assist in resolving the dispute. By involving the church community, individuals can benefit from the support, wisdom, and spiritual guidance offered by their faith community in the process of conflict resolution and reconciliation.
Yes. Upon request, Trinidad will provide the parties with the names of pastors, attorneys, and lay people who have been involved in Christian conciliation as parties, advisors, or volunteer conciliators, and who are willing to discuss their experiences with others.
Someone with a problem is referred to Trinidad by their attorney, church, friend, school, or a social service agency. They call Trinidad where a staff member listens and gathers basic information about the conflict. The Trinidad staff will explain mediation and answer questions about the process. The other party to the conflict is contacted by Trinidad, or the initiating party. The mediation process is explained and the second party is asked to agree to mediation. If both parties agree, then a mediation session is scheduled.
It is not unusual for people to have questions and apprehensions about using Christian conciliation, which, for many people, is a novel way to resolve conflict. In fact, the most challenging part of the entire conciliation process may be getting both sides to come “to the table”. Therefore, one party should not be discouraged if the other party initially refuses to consent to conciliation. If that happens, Trinidad can suggest ways to persuade the other person to reconsider and give conciliation a chance and may even contact the party as well.
While no mediation session is “the same”, generally the parties meet with their mediator(s) and each person has an opportunity to explain the dispute from their point of view. Then the mediators help define the issues in the dispute. Through various mediation techniques, possible solutions to the conflict are explored. When an agreement is reached, a memorandum of understanding is written. It is important to remember that mediators do not give legal advice. Parties are encouraged to consult with an attorney for legal advice.
Yes. Whenever a contract is written, one may include a conciliation clause, which requires that any disputes related to the contract be resolved through Christian conciliation by Trinidad or any other Christian Conciliator. These clauses are legally enforceable in most states and may be inserted in many types of contracts, including employment, construction, and vendor contracts.
WHAT IS CHRISTIAN CONCILIATION?
The process of Christian conciliation promoted by Trinidad Mediation and Conciliation, LLC combines an honest but peaceful approach to seeking just solutions to legal or personal disputes with a commitment to reconciling personal relationships.
Disputants are challenged to attend to the relationships affected by the legal or personal dispute by being “humble, gentle, and patient with each other, making allowances for each other’s faults because of love” (Ephesians 4:2). Parties are reminded to “put on the garments that suit God’s chosen people, his beloved: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, forbearing with one another, and forgiving as the Lord has forgiven them, where any of them have cause for complaint” (Colossians 3:12-13). The parties are encouraged to remember Christ’s teaching to “first go and make peace with your brother and only then come back to the altar and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:24).
Christian reconciliation does not require a Christian to “cave in” and agree with their opponent on the issue over which their dispute arose. Just as a Christian can be loving towards an atheist without adopting their beliefs, similarly, two Christians can love each other without agreeing on every factual issue or legal right. The process of Christian conciliation accepts that reconciled Christians can still have differences and, when necessary, commit to seeking a just resolution of those differences through peaceful means and within the Christian community rather than the civil courts (1 Corinthians 6:1-8).
Christian conciliation includes the goal of just resolutions because God desires justice. “The Lord wants weights and measures to be honest, and every sale to be fair” (Proverbs 16:11). Christ rebuked the lawyers and Pharisees as hypocrites because they paid tithes but disregarded “the weightier demands of the law, justice, mercy, and faithfulness” (Matthew 23:23). It is the Christian virtues of truth and justice that often require disputants to honestly assert their concerns and perspectives.
Christian conciliation encourages parties to honestly express their concerns and perspectives even in the more common non-legal disputes that involve matters of style and taste rather than dramatic issues of truth or justice. Of course, irritations should be overlooked when possible (Proverbs 20:3), but Christians should be willing to confront if there is a chance that the problem will affect their fellowship with their “opponent” (Matthew 18:15). Only by encouraging such expressions can the parties experience genuine Christian fellowship.
The conciliation process comes full circle by encouraging parties to not precondition reconciliation on the other party’s agreement on the issues (Romans 14:1). By emphasizing humility and acceptance of differences, parties are able to share honest concerns with each other and then jointly seek a peaceful solution, avoiding a costly and embittered civil lawsuit.
The commitment to peaceful solutions integrates the Christian call to reconciliation with truthfulness. Peaceful solutions honor the call to personal reconciliation because the concerned party focuses on the legal or factual issues and refuses to engage in a personal attack on their “opponent.” The commitment to address the issues and problems promotes honesty and truthfulness.
The practice of loving those with whom one disagrees is the uniquely Christian aspect of the Christian conciliation process. The occurrence of conflict reminds the Christian to drink richly of Christ’s love so that they will be able to share it even with those whose differences are a source of pain. Clearly, knowledge about the life of Christ, the teaching of Scripture, and the power of the Holy Spirit are needed to uphold individuals entering into the process of Christian conciliation.
Christian conciliation is a means by which people can love their adversaries while simultaneously honestly expressing their concerns about the subject of a conflict. Christian conciliation assists Christians in conflict who are searching for more options than either passively “turning the other cheek” or “aggressively seeking justice through the civil courts in ‘righteous indignation’.” Christian conciliation simultaneously promotes both God’s call for Christian reconciliation (Matthew 5:23, 24) and God’s call for justice (Proverbs 16:11); its message is that through Christ, justice and mercy can be combined (Matthew 23:23 and Micah 6:8).
STANDARD OF CONDUCT FOR CHRISTIAN CONCILIATORS
The following principles should be followed by anyone who is providing conciliation services. Certified conciliators are required to conduct themselves according to this Standard.
Responsibility to God
A. *(Statement of Faith) The Christian conciliator believes:
(1) that the Bible is the inspired Word of God; (Is 40:8, I Thess 2:13, II Tim 3:16,17)
(2) in the deity of our Lord, Jesus Christ, God’s Son; (John 1:1-2, Rom. 1:3,4, Col 2:9)
(3) in the vicarious death of Jesus Christ for our sins, His bodily resurrection, and his personal return; (Mark 16:19, Acts 1:9-11, Rom. 1:3-5, Heb 7:26)
(4) in the presence and power of the Holy Spirit in the work of regeneration (Titus 3:4-7)
(5) in the present ministry of the Holy Spirit by whose indwelling the Christian is enabled to live a godly life; (Rom 8:12-14, Eph. 3: 16-19)
(6) in the spiritual unity of believers in our Lord Jesus Christ and His church. (I Cor. 12-13,26-27; Eph 4:15-16 Col 1:15-19).
B. The Christian conciliator serves in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ and, therefore, shall strive earnestly to live a godly life and avoid doing anything that would dishonor the Lord or injure His Church (1 Cor. 10:31).
C. The Christian conciliator shall seek unity in the body of Christ and make every effort to live at peace and be reconciled with others (John 17:23; Rom. 12:18; Eph. 4:3).
D. The Christian conciliator shall be in continuing fellowship within a Christian church and shall support and submit to its teaching, oversight, and discipline, unless there is a clear Scriptural reason to do otherwise (I Thess. 5:12; Heb. 10:25, 13:17; Acts 4:19).
E. The Christian conciliator shall regularly seek spiritual counsel and support from mature Christians who affirm his or her conciliation ministry (Prov. 11:14, 12:15, 15:22).
F. The Christian conciliator shall encourage and help Christians to obey the Biblical mandate to resolve their disputes with the help of the church rather than suing one another in secular courts (I Cor. 6:1‑8).
G. The Christian conciliator shall use appropriate opportunities to encourage others to put their trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. The conciliator shall do this with gentleness and respect and shall not attempt to force his or her views on someone who is not interested in the Gospel (Rom. 1:16; I Pet. 3:15‑16).
H. The Christian conciliator shall respect the authority of Christian parties’ churches and shall work in close cooperation with their pastors whenever possible (I Thess. 5:12; Heb. 13:17). The Christian conciliator shall not attempt to recruit churched parties to his or her church. The conciliator shall encourage Christian parties to maintain a strong church involvement (Heb. 10:24‑25).
I. At appropriate times and in a gracious manner, the Christian conciliator shall:
(1) show the parties that in order to find lasting solutions to their conflicts and problems, their lives and decisions must conform to the concepts and standards of Scripture (II Tim. 3:15‑17);
(2) point out clearly the requirements of the Scriptures as applied to everyday life and practice (II Tim. 4:2);
(3) help the parties to make decisions, take actions, and change their lifestyles, habits, and conduct as God has designed in the Scriptures, so that they may enjoy their life and relationship with God (Eph. 4:22‑24); and
(4) encourage repentance, confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation whenever sin has occurred or a relationship has been broken (Luke 17:3; Gal. 6:1; II Tim. 4:2).
J. The Christian conciliator shall encourage and support only Scripturally sound decisions and actions (Micah 6:8).
Responsibility to Civil Authorities and other Professionals and Organizations
A. The Christian conciliator shall respect the legitimate jurisdiction of civil authorities and shall cooperate with them as required by law, unless there is a clear Scriptural reason to do otherwise (Acts 4:19; Rom. 13:1‑7).
B. The Christian conciliator shall respect the relationships that the parties have with other professionals, such as pastors, attorneys, and counselors, and shall encourage such professionals to support the conciliation process.
C. The Christian conciliator shall not imply, either directly or indirectly, that he or she represents or speaks on behalf of any organization unless he or she has received express authorization to do so.
Responsibility to the Parties
A. The Christian conciliator shall maintain his or her conduct and relationship with the parties above reproach and in accord with the highest standards of Biblical ministry.
B. The Christian conciliator shall exercise his or her influence soberly, carefully, and with the best interests of the parties in mind.
C. The Christian conciliator shall obtain informed consent from the parties before an agreement to commence conciliation is reached, unless conciliation is provided pursuant to a clause in a contract. The conciliator shall define and describe the process of conciliation, its costs and fees, and his or her role in the process to the parties.
D. The Christian conciliator shall make every effort to provide parties with due process and shall, therefore, work according to clearly established rules of procedure.
E. The Christian conciliator shall clearly indicate that he or she will not serve either party as a legal advisor or advocate.
F. The Christian conciliator shall be impartial, that is, free from favoritism or bias either by word or by action, and shall be committed to serving all parties rather than a single party.
G. The Christian conciliator shall avoid all conflicts of interest and shall disclose any interest or relationship that is likely to affect his or her impartiality or that might create an appearance of partiality or bias.
H. The Christian conciliator shall encourage the parties to make decisions based upon sufficient information and knowledge; at times this may require referring the parties to other people for relevant advice.
I. The Christian conciliator shall not voluntarily disclose information obtained through the conciliation process without the prior consent of all parties unless such disclosure is required by law, provided to the parties’ church leaders or to others according to a disclosure agreement reached before conciliation began, part of staff operations within TRINIDAD, part of an appeal, or to prevent harm to a person.
J. The Christian conciliator shall make every reasonable effort to expedite the conciliation process and to overcome unnecessary delays.
K. When the Christian conciliator offers counsel or is called upon to make an arbitration award, he or she shall do so in a just, independent, and deliberate manner.
L. The Christian conciliator shall encourage the parties to frankly evaluate his or her performance as a conciliator.
Responsibility to the Public
A. The Christian conciliator shall not represent himself/herself as having qualifications, affiliations, or experience that he or she does not possess, nor shall the conciliator represent himself/herself as being licensed by the State of California unless he or she is so licensed.
B. The Christian conciliator shall not use his or her knowledge, experience, or position for unfair personal benefit or gain.
PEACEMAKERS PLEDGE
As people reconcile to God through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we believe that we are called to respond to conflict in a way that is remarkably different from the way the world deals with conflict. 1 We also believe that conflict provides opportunities to glorify God, serve other people, and grow to be like Christ. 2 Therefore, in response to God’s love and reliance on His grace, we commit ourselves to respond to conflict according to the following principles. Glorify God Instead of focusing on our desires or dwelling on what others may do, we will seek to please and honor God – by depending on His wisdom, power, and love; by faithfully obeying His commands; and by seeking to maintain a loving, merciful, and forgiving attitude. 3 Get the Log Out of Your Own Eye Instead of attacking others or dwelling on their wrongs, we will take responsibility for our contribution to conflicts – confessing our sins, asking God to help us change any attitudes and habits that lead to conflict, and seeking to repair any harm we have caused. 4 Go and Show Your Brother His Fault Instead of pretending that conflict doesn’t exist or talking about others behind their backs, we will choose to overlook minor offenses, or we will talk directly and graciously with those whose offenses seem too serious to overlook. When a conflict with another Christian cannot be resolved in private, we will ask others in the body of Christ to help us biblically settle the matter. 5 Go and Be Reconciled Instead of accepting premature compromise or allowing relationships to wither, we will actively pursue genuine peace and reconciliation – forgiving others as God, for Christ’s sake, has forgiven us, and seeking just and mutually beneficial solutions to our differences. 6 By God’s grace, we will apply these principles as a matter of stewardship, realizing that conflict is an assignment, not an accident. We will remember that success, in God’s eyes, is not a matter of specific results but of faithful obedience. And we will pray that our service as peacemakers brings praise to our Lord and leads others to know His infinite love. 7
1) Luke 6:27-36; Gal. 5;19-26; Matt. 5:9. 2) I Cor. 10:31-11:1; Roam. 8:28-29; James 1:2-4. 3) I Cor 10:31; James 4:1-3; Psalm 37:1-6; Phil. 4:2-9; Col. 3:1-4; I Peter 2:12; John 14:15; James 3:17-18; Rom. 12:17-21; Mark 11:25. 4) Matt. 7:3-5; I John 1:8-9; Prov. 28:13; Col. 3:5-14; Luke 19:8. 5) Matt. 18:15-20; James 5:9; Prov. 19:11; Gal 6:1-2; Eph. 4:29; II Tim 2:24-26; I Cor 6:1-8. 6) Matt 5:23-24; Matt 5:12; Eph. 4:1-3, 32; Matt 7:12; Phil. 2:3-4. 7) Matt. 25:14-21; I Peter 2:19; Rom. 12:18; John 13:34-35.